It’s been a while. I’ve been working on what is now a ‘manuscript’ instead of just a ‘document’ (doesn’t that sound official?) and still learning to live with autism, instead of merely existing.
The most difficult part, I think, is that I know acknowledge that things are difficult, where before, I just did them. This is undoubtedly confusing for people – I used to do those things and now I’m complaining I find them difficult.
Truth is, I always found them difficult, and ignoring that cost me my happiness and the chance to lead a productive, fulfilling life. Balancing is still tricky to learn, and of course I sometimes do things that I find hard because it is necessary to do them. But I’m learning to plan time off to unwind, and tricks to not make difficult things any more difficult than absolutely necessary. It’s the downside of being diagnosed so late in life, I guess.
I don’t seem to have it in me to become very spiritual. I think I’m sort of okay with that.
Meanwhile, the manuscript is at the end of the ‘first draft’ phase and being read by a couple of people who will provide comments and suggestions for improvement. (I fear getting back a list of ‘throw it out and start over’ comments).
So…that’s about it!
Also, I attended my first Orthodox funeral last week and was struck by the…practicality, intimacy and down-to-earthness of it all, right next to looking towards the resurrection. Even so, I hope not to attend another one.